Dear Fellow White Women…
A few weeks ago I was talking to one of my colleagues, a Black woman, about topics of race and racism in the workplace. She shared with me an episode from the podcast Living Corporate, The Role White Women Play in the Workplace and was curious about my reaction.
If you haven’t listened, I highly suggest it, as it’s a thought provoking discussion. One of the statements from Julie Kratz who was interviewed in the episode, that I found compelling to unpack was “White women historically haven’t done a great job of listening”. That is undoubtedly an uncomfortable but essential truth for us. The fact is that historically feminism has left behind women of color, but specifically Black women. We often celebrate the anniversary of the 19th amendment, or “women’s right to vote”, and conveniently leave out that Black women did not gain that right until 45 years later. Feminism in the way it has been executed historically has always implied whiteness when evaluating its successes.
And before anyone asks, no it does not erase the influence of the patriarchy on white women, certainly it is still hard to be a white woman in the United States. It is still hard to succeed, to gain mentorship or sponsorship, to get good health care, to be listened to and taken seriously. No one objects to this fact. However, suffering neither begins nor ends with white women. When we discuss diversity and inclusion, to pretend there is no difference between the opportunities and suppression of a white woman and a woman of color is false and dangerous.
What piqued my interest along these lines of the conversation is that, because we have focused on the white woman’s experience, much of our coaching, our advice, our support system in feminist organizations or initiatives is about solving white women’s problems. These solutions do not always help a Black woman. We provide solutions to them based on the unspoken and myopic assumption that everyone has white privilege in the first place! How absurd.
How we define and think about Feminism needs to evolve, it cannot continue to be “white women first, and then we’ll come back for you in 50 years” or “white women first and anything else is a race issue and the responsibility of another progressive movement to address”. Feminism needs to be inclusive and start to consider the rights of not just white women, but black women, latinx women, neurodiverse women, disabled women, and trans women. These differences and experiences are a part of being a woman and cannot be put in separate boxes to be addressed separately.
So, dear fellow white women, we need to start listening yes, but we also need to start championing more than just other white women and solving more than just white women’s problems. Before you raise your hand to lead the next D&I initiative, before you raise your hand to lead another conversation about what it’s like to be a woman in leadership, or technology, or the world; look around you. Are you the best person for this conversation or project? Who should be in the room or at the table? Are you ready to use your privilege to make sure they have a voice? Are you prepared to present and talk about solutions that go beyond your own whiteness? Are you ready to make room not just for their gender, but their blackness too?
We have done a terrible job at listening. And truly and actively listening is only the first step to making a difference in our workplaces and society. We must take action with the information we have received. Mentorship is nice, but sponsorship is better. Allyship requires sacrifice, it requires risk on your part to change the status quo. If you are willing to sympathize but not act, hold discussion groups and attend protests but not ACT, you are complicit in the continuation of a system that has subjugated black and brown people in this country. Do not just invite underrepresented people to the table if you are not also equally as committed to making room for their voices. And yes, that means you need to come to terms with the fact that it’s not always about you, and let others speak their truth. A truth that is undeniably different from your own.
